FEELINGS-OMG I Have Them?
FEELINGS-OMG I Have Them?
Feelings and emotions, amongst the toughest things I had to deal with as I carved out a new and “recovered” life. Things I wanted to deny and stuff and certainly escape.
Thanks Randin Brons for another thought provoking Idea Engineer.
Feel your emotions
"The key is to not resist or rebel against emotions or to try to get around them by devising all sorts of tricks; but to accept them directly, as they are." -- Takahisa Kora
Emotions are energy in motion. They bring us information if we are willing to experience them. Unfortunately, many of us are afraid of the energy of emotions and so we automatically resist them. And when we refuse to experience our emotions, we block them up. They become trapped and that entrapment drains our energy and brings continuing discomfort.
Don't let emotions push you into action or reaction. Just STOP and PAY ATTENTION. Allow them to be and to speak to you. Once they are acknowledged, their energy is released.
"Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through your resistance." -- Deepak Chopra
"We have to become more conscious of our feeling-world. By learning to identify the 'emotional baggage' and manage our feeling-world reactions, we can view life based on current information instead of being held captive by our past." -- Doc Childre
"Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge." -- Audre Lord
Ready to learn how to recognize, understand and harness feelings and emotions? We’re here to deeply listen. Does anyone hear you?
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
LESSONS FROM POPEYE
LESSONS FROM POPEYE
I’ve spent many years loving Popeye the Sailor and the lessons he has taught me! One, of course, is to eat your spinach; but that is not the great one. Popeye is my favourite philosopher. It took me many years to learn his simple philosophy, “I is what I is and that’s all that I is”. Think on that one a while as your saying “This guy is nuts!” By the way, I am that too.
I spent too many years trying to be what other people thought I should be and not being who I really was. This “actor on a stage” life led me to a lot of places I didn’t want to go. It led me to trying to escape the false person who I had become. It took me to a very low spot in life, a spot I now call bottom. It helped make me sick and tired of being sick and tired. I lived irritable, restless and discontent. I wanted pleasure and I wanted it now.
Today, I know that that is not who I am and not who I was meant to be. I became what others wanted and acted how they expected. I played a role I was never comfortable in and when you’re not comfortable in your own skin, life is not a joy! Can you relate?
Today, I have accepted Popeye’s philosophy. To accept that I am what I am and that is just perfect for me has been a journey. Along the journey, I’ve had a lot of help and support. I have found and worked with people who have actually LISTENED to what I was saying and feeling, and have conscious contact on a daily basis as a result of this help with a power far greater than me. I’m thankful daily that I found this power within me and around me. From Hazelden:
”I Am Who I Am
Sometimes we want to be someone else – anyone but who we are. We want to be someone who feels more free and at peace. We want to be someone who doesn't have to take medications day after day. We want to be free of the pain and loneliness our illness has brought us.
Thought for the Day
When I look within, I will discover that accepting myself and being myself are far more fulfilling that expected.”
There is hope that the same changes can happen within any person who really wants to be their authentic self and is prepared to be honest, seek help and take action. Today’s life is far more than I ever expected and being just me is all that I need to be. It is nice to be true to myself and that small quiet voice within that I now listen to a follow as best I can. Popeye, you are simple but brilliant.
I would love you to share your thoughts on that, and if I can help you be your own Popeye, just ask.
I’ve spent many years loving Popeye the Sailor and the lessons he has taught me! One, of course, is to eat your spinach; but that is not the great one. Popeye is my favourite philosopher. It took me many years to learn his simple philosophy, “I is what I is and that’s all that I is”. Think on that one a while as your saying “This guy is nuts!” By the way, I am that too.
I spent too many years trying to be what other people thought I should be and not being who I really was. This “actor on a stage” life led me to a lot of places I didn’t want to go. It led me to trying to escape the false person who I had become. It took me to a very low spot in life, a spot I now call bottom. It helped make me sick and tired of being sick and tired. I lived irritable, restless and discontent. I wanted pleasure and I wanted it now.
Today, I know that that is not who I am and not who I was meant to be. I became what others wanted and acted how they expected. I played a role I was never comfortable in and when you’re not comfortable in your own skin, life is not a joy! Can you relate?
Today, I have accepted Popeye’s philosophy. To accept that I am what I am and that is just perfect for me has been a journey. Along the journey, I’ve had a lot of help and support. I have found and worked with people who have actually LISTENED to what I was saying and feeling, and have conscious contact on a daily basis as a result of this help with a power far greater than me. I’m thankful daily that I found this power within me and around me. From Hazelden:
”I Am Who I Am
Sometimes we want to be someone else – anyone but who we are. We want to be someone who feels more free and at peace. We want to be someone who doesn't have to take medications day after day. We want to be free of the pain and loneliness our illness has brought us.
Thought for the Day
When I look within, I will discover that accepting myself and being myself are far more fulfilling that expected.”
There is hope that the same changes can happen within any person who really wants to be their authentic self and is prepared to be honest, seek help and take action. Today’s life is far more than I ever expected and being just me is all that I need to be. It is nice to be true to myself and that small quiet voice within that I now listen to a follow as best I can. Popeye, you are simple but brilliant.
I would love you to share your thoughts on that, and if I can help you be your own Popeye, just ask.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
DETACHING FROM CRAP
DETACHING FROM CRAP
DETACHING FROM CRAP
That word that sent fear into my heart-detachment. For years I did not understand how healthy detachment can be,
Another thought provoking article from my coaching mentor Dr. Randin Brons in his Idea Engineer. One I really needed.
As I dealt with my alcohol addiction and learned about an organization called Al—anon (for those affected by alcoholics), I certainly became familiar with the term loving detachment. I began to understand this in the context Al-Anon uses it; but I have come to learn that detachment is a skill many of us, including myself, need to work on for healthy mental hygiene. From Randin
Practice detachment
"Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority." -- Tom Hopkins
”As our consciousness rises, our perspective becomes more and more impersonal. What does this mean?
It means we are increasingly able to view our lives and the rest of the world with detachment. This does not mean we are cold and uncaring. Rather, we are self-contained. We have well-defined boundaries and we are able to think and act objectively, clearly and responsibly.
When we have learned detachment, we do not get hooked into the thoughts and feelings of others. We are not easily upset or manipulated. We may feel compassion for others but this does not cloud our ability to choose how we think, feel and behave. We also do not need others to behave in any particular way.”
"Until we take how we see ourselves (and how we see others) into account, we will be unable to understand how others see and feel about themselves and their world. Unaware, we will project our intentions on their behavior and call ourselves objective." -- Stephen Covey
So how do we get our consciousness to rise to the point where we can detach? Let me assure you (and I am reasonably good at it), it requires outside help, hard work and practice. It is worth it! Want to really see yourself? Comment here on this blog.
DETACHING FROM CRAP
That word that sent fear into my heart-detachment. For years I did not understand how healthy detachment can be,
Another thought provoking article from my coaching mentor Dr. Randin Brons in his Idea Engineer. One I really needed.
As I dealt with my alcohol addiction and learned about an organization called Al—anon (for those affected by alcoholics), I certainly became familiar with the term loving detachment. I began to understand this in the context Al-Anon uses it; but I have come to learn that detachment is a skill many of us, including myself, need to work on for healthy mental hygiene. From Randin
Practice detachment
"Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority." -- Tom Hopkins
”As our consciousness rises, our perspective becomes more and more impersonal. What does this mean?
It means we are increasingly able to view our lives and the rest of the world with detachment. This does not mean we are cold and uncaring. Rather, we are self-contained. We have well-defined boundaries and we are able to think and act objectively, clearly and responsibly.
When we have learned detachment, we do not get hooked into the thoughts and feelings of others. We are not easily upset or manipulated. We may feel compassion for others but this does not cloud our ability to choose how we think, feel and behave. We also do not need others to behave in any particular way.”
"Until we take how we see ourselves (and how we see others) into account, we will be unable to understand how others see and feel about themselves and their world. Unaware, we will project our intentions on their behavior and call ourselves objective." -- Stephen Covey
So how do we get our consciousness to rise to the point where we can detach? Let me assure you (and I am reasonably good at it), it requires outside help, hard work and practice. It is worth it! Want to really see yourself? Comment here on this blog.
Monday, April 19, 2010
TALK DOESN'T COOK RICE
Talk doesn't cook rice.
--Chinese proverb
I've seen many so called Chinese proverbs and never leave a Chinese restaurant without checking inside the fortune cookie.
I have never seen a truer statement than the title of this blog. Talk doesn't do a lot of things, including making major changes in life. I know I tried to talk my way through change; I didn't want personal help and direction, let alone do hard work on myself!
Some of us are crazy about self-help books, inspirational tapes, and personal improvement seminars. We'll buy or sign up for anything, whatever the price, if it promises revolutionary insights or a foolproof new system. We want relief in a day and deliverance in a weekend. And we want the expert of the hour to do it for us. I couldn't tell you how many I've met and worked with; several who had the best "self-help" book and tape libraries in the world. Funny how similar the messages are (there's not much new or revolutionary) yet how without hard work, often assisted by a "coachly" push, all the information in the world changes nothing.
I've got to admit, I loved the Olympics. There were some incredible performances and so many personal bests. Ever wonder how many of these were achieved by just talking or reading a book (CD, tape)? Did they just "wish" themselves to great results?
There's nothing wrong with wishing, of course. But there's a lot wrong with kidding ourselves as a way of life. Think about it: If progress could be bought, we wouldn't need to be meditating. If personal transformation resulted from collecting new ideas, we'd have been transformed long ago. Exploring is great. And looking for all the inspiration and wisdom we can find is necessary for growth. But changing is doing. All the plans and schemes for improvement put together won't change a thing if we don't put the principles into daily practice. Even catchy words are just words. There is no substitution for action.
Need a prod and some push? Get a coach. Everyone needs help, needs to be heard, and helped to set and reach goals. Everyone needs ACTION.
--Chinese proverb
I've seen many so called Chinese proverbs and never leave a Chinese restaurant without checking inside the fortune cookie.
I have never seen a truer statement than the title of this blog. Talk doesn't do a lot of things, including making major changes in life. I know I tried to talk my way through change; I didn't want personal help and direction, let alone do hard work on myself!
Some of us are crazy about self-help books, inspirational tapes, and personal improvement seminars. We'll buy or sign up for anything, whatever the price, if it promises revolutionary insights or a foolproof new system. We want relief in a day and deliverance in a weekend. And we want the expert of the hour to do it for us. I couldn't tell you how many I've met and worked with; several who had the best "self-help" book and tape libraries in the world. Funny how similar the messages are (there's not much new or revolutionary) yet how without hard work, often assisted by a "coachly" push, all the information in the world changes nothing.
I've got to admit, I loved the Olympics. There were some incredible performances and so many personal bests. Ever wonder how many of these were achieved by just talking or reading a book (CD, tape)? Did they just "wish" themselves to great results?
There's nothing wrong with wishing, of course. But there's a lot wrong with kidding ourselves as a way of life. Think about it: If progress could be bought, we wouldn't need to be meditating. If personal transformation resulted from collecting new ideas, we'd have been transformed long ago. Exploring is great. And looking for all the inspiration and wisdom we can find is necessary for growth. But changing is doing. All the plans and schemes for improvement put together won't change a thing if we don't put the principles into daily practice. Even catchy words are just words. There is no substitution for action.
Need a prod and some push? Get a coach. Everyone needs help, needs to be heard, and helped to set and reach goals. Everyone needs ACTION.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
THINK YOUR TOUGH? (Can You Feel?)
THINK YOUR TOUGH? (Can You Feel?)
THINK YOUR TOUGH?
Real Tough People Show Feelings
Alex Karras was a hard nosed football player. In his day, if you looked up “tough” in a dictionary you might have found his picture. Alex on “tough”:
It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more "manhood" to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.
--Alex Karras
In our culture, being a man often means being tough and not showing feelings. We were taught that “big boys don’t cry, and I’ve learned many women live by the same code. I think I grew up with a song whose key line was “laughing on the outside, crying on the inside”. (Funny Little Clown).
We realize in the process of life recovery that those are silly and immature myths, even though we see them repeatedly on TV, on billboards, and in newspapers.
When we are told these things repeatedly, it makes an impact on us. We need to learn from others other that this is not the way we wish to live. We don't admire these attitudes, and we don't believe the stories. Truly courageous men (and women) know themselves. They have been around enough to have depth to their souls, to let themselves love, and to feel the pain of life. They know how to truly feel and externalize feelings.
I don’t know how many people who have told me how tough they are and stuff their feelings inside or even more sadly, can’t even identify feelings, crack big time. Is that being tough? Are they tough or “sick”? Toughness, as Karras states, is soul and spirit and a mature mind.
As a former jock and “tough” guy who always kept the stiff upper lip, I’m glad this recovery thing has taught me about feelings and has given me tools to deal with them in a healthy way. My wife tells me I now show a “feminine” side and times. Please don’t ever tell her, but I like it!
Want to talk about this or other issues. I’m here!
THINK YOUR TOUGH?
Real Tough People Show Feelings
Alex Karras was a hard nosed football player. In his day, if you looked up “tough” in a dictionary you might have found his picture. Alex on “tough”:
It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more "manhood" to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.
--Alex Karras
In our culture, being a man often means being tough and not showing feelings. We were taught that “big boys don’t cry, and I’ve learned many women live by the same code. I think I grew up with a song whose key line was “laughing on the outside, crying on the inside”. (Funny Little Clown).
We realize in the process of life recovery that those are silly and immature myths, even though we see them repeatedly on TV, on billboards, and in newspapers.
When we are told these things repeatedly, it makes an impact on us. We need to learn from others other that this is not the way we wish to live. We don't admire these attitudes, and we don't believe the stories. Truly courageous men (and women) know themselves. They have been around enough to have depth to their souls, to let themselves love, and to feel the pain of life. They know how to truly feel and externalize feelings.
I don’t know how many people who have told me how tough they are and stuff their feelings inside or even more sadly, can’t even identify feelings, crack big time. Is that being tough? Are they tough or “sick”? Toughness, as Karras states, is soul and spirit and a mature mind.
As a former jock and “tough” guy who always kept the stiff upper lip, I’m glad this recovery thing has taught me about feelings and has given me tools to deal with them in a healthy way. My wife tells me I now show a “feminine” side and times. Please don’t ever tell her, but I like it!
Want to talk about this or other issues. I’m here!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
WHO AM I MEANT TO BE?
WHO AM I MEANT TO BE?
WHO AM I MEANT TO BE?
This is a question many ask themselves, particularly at cross roads periods of their life.
It is something that gets answered in the coaching process and coaching takes it one step further- and how do I get there.
Many of us love quizzes, particularly those that give us instant results. Many have a great data base behind them that make the results have a fair degree of accuracy.
Below is a link to a quiz Oprah recently broadcast and for those wondering "Who Am I Meant To Be?’ you'll find it interesting and the results somewhat insightful.
Enjoy!
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Who-Am-I-Meant-to-Be
WHO AM I MEANT TO BE?
This is a question many ask themselves, particularly at cross roads periods of their life.
It is something that gets answered in the coaching process and coaching takes it one step further- and how do I get there.
Many of us love quizzes, particularly those that give us instant results. Many have a great data base behind them that make the results have a fair degree of accuracy.
Below is a link to a quiz Oprah recently broadcast and for those wondering "Who Am I Meant To Be?’ you'll find it interesting and the results somewhat insightful.
Enjoy!
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Who-Am-I-Meant-to-Be
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
ARE YOU SELF-AWARE?
ARE YOU SELF-AWARE?
ARE YOU SELF-AWARE?
Here we are on a Monday and another great question from my coaching mentor Dr. Randin Brons and his Idea Engineer.
If your not aware of it, coaching is all about the coach asking great questions and “leading”, not telling, the client the answers. Deep inside, most of us have answers to the tough questions, we just don’t know how and where to look.
Are you self-aware? If not, how do you know where you’re at and where you’re going? From Randin:
Step into self-awareness
"Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority." -- Tom Hopkins
Here are some different aspects of self-awareness:
- Know yourself - Explore who you are: your defenses, your blocks, your talents, your aspirations, etc.
- Accept yourself - We are at war with ourselves when we resist or deny certain aspects of who we are. Acknowledge the truth of who you are right now - the positives and the negatives. Only when we own our present reality can we change.
- Control yourself - Set clear, conscious intentions and discipline yourself to meet them.
- Express yourself - Go to your heart to identify what has meaning and purpose for you. Live your truth. Identify ways you can give back to life and be in service.
We work on each of these aspects all the time. But as our lives go through cycles, we predominantly work on one of them more than the others. Which aspect are you more conscious of lately?
Our lives improve only when we take chances ... and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves." -- Walter Anderson.
"Adventure can be an end in itself. Self-discovery is the secret ingredient that fuels daring." -- Grace Lichtenstein
Ready to find out whom you really are? Get ready to self-discover; get ready to dare!
ARE YOU SELF-AWARE?
Here we are on a Monday and another great question from my coaching mentor Dr. Randin Brons and his Idea Engineer.
If your not aware of it, coaching is all about the coach asking great questions and “leading”, not telling, the client the answers. Deep inside, most of us have answers to the tough questions, we just don’t know how and where to look.
Are you self-aware? If not, how do you know where you’re at and where you’re going? From Randin:
Step into self-awareness
"Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority." -- Tom Hopkins
Here are some different aspects of self-awareness:
- Know yourself - Explore who you are: your defenses, your blocks, your talents, your aspirations, etc.
- Accept yourself - We are at war with ourselves when we resist or deny certain aspects of who we are. Acknowledge the truth of who you are right now - the positives and the negatives. Only when we own our present reality can we change.
- Control yourself - Set clear, conscious intentions and discipline yourself to meet them.
- Express yourself - Go to your heart to identify what has meaning and purpose for you. Live your truth. Identify ways you can give back to life and be in service.
We work on each of these aspects all the time. But as our lives go through cycles, we predominantly work on one of them more than the others. Which aspect are you more conscious of lately?
Our lives improve only when we take chances ... and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves." -- Walter Anderson.
"Adventure can be an end in itself. Self-discovery is the secret ingredient that fuels daring." -- Grace Lichtenstein
Ready to find out whom you really are? Get ready to self-discover; get ready to dare!
Monday, April 12, 2010
DO YOU TRUST YOU?
DO YOU TRUST YOU?
I’m late this week with the thoughts provoked by my Mentor Dr. Randin Bron’s Idea Engineer. Thoughts I share from Randin have been well received and well read, and I hope you enjoy this one!
Trusting myself was a huge issue for me when I was in active addiction and involved in other unhealthy, mood altering behaviours. How could I trust someone who did such selfish and destructive things?
Through the co-creative process of life recovery, which did incorporate both the 12 steps and personal life coaching, I did regain trust in myself and I am grateful. It came with hard and directed work!
Trust yourself
"It is our basic right to be a happy person, happy family, and eventually a happy world. That should be our goal." -- Dalai Lama
”I never know what the next lesson is going to be, because we're not supposed to know; we're supposed to trust ourselves to discover it." -- Melody Beattie
How deeply do you trust your own guidance?
Always trust that you know what's best for you. To move forward in your life, gather information from the 'experts,' consider how their advice relates to your situation and then act only on what feels right for you. What does your whole being (mind, body and soul) say 'Yes!' to?
You are the only expert for your own life.”
"I trust so much in the power of the heart and the soul; I know that the answer to what we need to do next is in our own hearts. All we have to do is listen, then take that one step further and trust what we hear. We will be taught what we need to learn." -- Melody Beattie
"Ultimately, we must learn to trust ourselves. When we do this intimately and intelligently, the world opens full of meaning before us. We find that we ourselves are the doorway to a fathomless understanding of the source of life itself. We need only to learn to walk through it." -- James Thornton
What have you got to do to honestly trust yourself?
I’m late this week with the thoughts provoked by my Mentor Dr. Randin Bron’s Idea Engineer. Thoughts I share from Randin have been well received and well read, and I hope you enjoy this one!
Trusting myself was a huge issue for me when I was in active addiction and involved in other unhealthy, mood altering behaviours. How could I trust someone who did such selfish and destructive things?
Through the co-creative process of life recovery, which did incorporate both the 12 steps and personal life coaching, I did regain trust in myself and I am grateful. It came with hard and directed work!
Trust yourself
"It is our basic right to be a happy person, happy family, and eventually a happy world. That should be our goal." -- Dalai Lama
”I never know what the next lesson is going to be, because we're not supposed to know; we're supposed to trust ourselves to discover it." -- Melody Beattie
How deeply do you trust your own guidance?
Always trust that you know what's best for you. To move forward in your life, gather information from the 'experts,' consider how their advice relates to your situation and then act only on what feels right for you. What does your whole being (mind, body and soul) say 'Yes!' to?
You are the only expert for your own life.”
"I trust so much in the power of the heart and the soul; I know that the answer to what we need to do next is in our own hearts. All we have to do is listen, then take that one step further and trust what we hear. We will be taught what we need to learn." -- Melody Beattie
"Ultimately, we must learn to trust ourselves. When we do this intimately and intelligently, the world opens full of meaning before us. We find that we ourselves are the doorway to a fathomless understanding of the source of life itself. We need only to learn to walk through it." -- James Thornton
What have you got to do to honestly trust yourself?
Friday, April 9, 2010
A "TIGER" CAN CHANGE STRIPES
A "TIGER" CAN CHANGE STRIPES
A “TIGER” CAN CHANGE STRIPES!
Well folks, haven’t we had our fill of it-the ongoing saga of Tiger Woods. How many really care but the media bombards us and the cutting jokes keep coming. Stop already, actions speak louder than words.
I am a golf nut and admire how Tiger Woods plays golf. I’ve never much cared how he lived or what he endorsed. I’ve felt for him because he is knocked for all the media attention he gets, when he plays, television treats him like he’s the only one in the event. More than ever, knowing what we now know about his life off the golf course (more than I ever needed to know), I believe all that attention Tiger gets is not what he wanted….. A majority of the public at large wanted, no demanded it, as shown by TV ratings and the people who buy the gossip rags and create the jokes. Why knock Tiger?
It is scary. I have never been world famous, except maybe in my own mind, but have done some reasonably high profile things in my life and with humility; I know I did them reasonably well. Well enough to keep me at the “job” top of my little world for an extended period of time. It makes it easy to relate to Tiger.
I am a member of an “Addictions Professional Group”, and am amazed by the amount of group chat that has gone on about Tiger. Is he an addict or just a scumbag and the like? Does it really matter? He is a human who has problems. Can anyone relate to that? I certainly can.
From personal experience I can relate to exactly what Tiger did, and I had a variety of selfish ways to help me escape reality, give me immediate pleasure and make me feel good. Damn those around me, what they didn’t know didn’t hurt them (my sick mind told me).
Only I know what I was addicted to and what things I did just for selfish pleasure and to escape the boredom of real life. The only person who should worry about whether Mr. Woods is an addict or not is Tiger himself. It is obvious he has some living problems and I’m glad to see he is getting group and individual help.
I love to learn and be reminded of things, and this has happened in some of the things Tiger has revealed. There is a lesson for all of us.
Of great importance, Tiger got away from his spiritual centre and his spiritual belief system. He got away from meditation, which for me would be a cessation of listening to my higher power.
He began living the life of a double agent. The life we saw in public, the life his wife and those close to him were allowed to see, and the life the enablers in his life saw and abetted. Those in that part of his life knew who he was and what his marital status and father status was. For whatever their reasons, they chose to be a part of this life and most know fame, power and money do attract a certain group of people.
Trouble being a secret agent with multiple lives, secret agents have to keep big secrets and if it means lying about different things to people who are a part of your various lives. Tiger must be a bright guy to get away with it for as long as he did. Secrets and dishonesty destroy a human, which is a fact!
I know what I had to go through to change my stripes. Those who know me and love me, as well as the guy I see in the mirror, know I have changed my stripes. It did not happen quickly nor did it happen easily. It happened with a lot of hard work and help from others (some of them paid professionals and a treatment facility) and a decade and a half later remains work in progress. It took what I now refer to as a “Co-Creative Process of Life Recovery”. Change is hard, but change I did.
I am not Tiger or anyone who is all that special. If someone hits a point in their lives and wants to make a change just to please themselves (not others and not for money), it can be done. But like life itself, it is hard and requires action and self-honesty in the most rigorous manner.
Let’s learn from what Tiger has gone through and relate to what he told us happened. Let’s hear what the voice of “father Earl” is asking in the new Nike commercial. Let’s leave the guy alone and give him a chance over a long period of time to make change. Let’s observe, be positive and leave the jokes and rumours alone. Let’s hope for his children and family, those who love him, that he is successful in making positive change and let’s help in any way we can. Let’s not put people on a personal moral pedestal because they are as human as us, and we set ourselves up if they fall and we worship them. Let’s rejoice in the fact that if we live balanced lives, Tigers can change their stripes! (www.hopeserenity.ca; www.coached-to-success.com)
A “TIGER” CAN CHANGE STRIPES!
Well folks, haven’t we had our fill of it-the ongoing saga of Tiger Woods. How many really care but the media bombards us and the cutting jokes keep coming. Stop already, actions speak louder than words.
I am a golf nut and admire how Tiger Woods plays golf. I’ve never much cared how he lived or what he endorsed. I’ve felt for him because he is knocked for all the media attention he gets, when he plays, television treats him like he’s the only one in the event. More than ever, knowing what we now know about his life off the golf course (more than I ever needed to know), I believe all that attention Tiger gets is not what he wanted….. A majority of the public at large wanted, no demanded it, as shown by TV ratings and the people who buy the gossip rags and create the jokes. Why knock Tiger?
It is scary. I have never been world famous, except maybe in my own mind, but have done some reasonably high profile things in my life and with humility; I know I did them reasonably well. Well enough to keep me at the “job” top of my little world for an extended period of time. It makes it easy to relate to Tiger.
I am a member of an “Addictions Professional Group”, and am amazed by the amount of group chat that has gone on about Tiger. Is he an addict or just a scumbag and the like? Does it really matter? He is a human who has problems. Can anyone relate to that? I certainly can.
From personal experience I can relate to exactly what Tiger did, and I had a variety of selfish ways to help me escape reality, give me immediate pleasure and make me feel good. Damn those around me, what they didn’t know didn’t hurt them (my sick mind told me).
Only I know what I was addicted to and what things I did just for selfish pleasure and to escape the boredom of real life. The only person who should worry about whether Mr. Woods is an addict or not is Tiger himself. It is obvious he has some living problems and I’m glad to see he is getting group and individual help.
I love to learn and be reminded of things, and this has happened in some of the things Tiger has revealed. There is a lesson for all of us.
Of great importance, Tiger got away from his spiritual centre and his spiritual belief system. He got away from meditation, which for me would be a cessation of listening to my higher power.
He began living the life of a double agent. The life we saw in public, the life his wife and those close to him were allowed to see, and the life the enablers in his life saw and abetted. Those in that part of his life knew who he was and what his marital status and father status was. For whatever their reasons, they chose to be a part of this life and most know fame, power and money do attract a certain group of people.
Trouble being a secret agent with multiple lives, secret agents have to keep big secrets and if it means lying about different things to people who are a part of your various lives. Tiger must be a bright guy to get away with it for as long as he did. Secrets and dishonesty destroy a human, which is a fact!
I know what I had to go through to change my stripes. Those who know me and love me, as well as the guy I see in the mirror, know I have changed my stripes. It did not happen quickly nor did it happen easily. It happened with a lot of hard work and help from others (some of them paid professionals and a treatment facility) and a decade and a half later remains work in progress. It took what I now refer to as a “Co-Creative Process of Life Recovery”. Change is hard, but change I did.
I am not Tiger or anyone who is all that special. If someone hits a point in their lives and wants to make a change just to please themselves (not others and not for money), it can be done. But like life itself, it is hard and requires action and self-honesty in the most rigorous manner.
Let’s learn from what Tiger has gone through and relate to what he told us happened. Let’s hear what the voice of “father Earl” is asking in the new Nike commercial. Let’s leave the guy alone and give him a chance over a long period of time to make change. Let’s observe, be positive and leave the jokes and rumours alone. Let’s hope for his children and family, those who love him, that he is successful in making positive change and let’s help in any way we can. Let’s not put people on a personal moral pedestal because they are as human as us, and we set ourselves up if they fall and we worship them. Let’s rejoice in the fact that if we live balanced lives, Tigers can change their stripes! (www.hopeserenity.ca; www.coached-to-success.com)
A "TIGER" CAN CHANGE STRIPES
A “TIGER” CAN CHANGE STRIPES!
Well folks, haven’t we had our fill of it-the ongoing saga of Tiger Woods. How many really care but the media bombards us and the cutting jokes keep coming. Stop already, actions speak louder than words.
I am a golf nut and admire how Tiger Woods plays golf. I’ve never much cared how he lived or what he endorsed. I’ve felt for him because he is knocked for all the media attention he gets, when he plays, television treats him like he’s the only one in the event. More than ever, knowing what we now know about his life off the golf course (more than I ever needed to know), I believe all that attention Tiger gets is not what he wanted….. A majority of the public at large wanted, no demanded it, as shown by TV ratings and the people who buy the gossip rags and create the jokes. Why knock Tiger?
It is scary. I have never been world famous, except maybe in my own mind, but have done some reasonably high profile things in my life and with humility; I know I did them reasonably well. Well enough to keep me at the “job” top of my little world for an extended period of time. It makes it easy to relate to Tiger.
I am a member of an “Addictions Professional Group”, and am amazed by the amount of group chat that has gone on about Tiger. Is he an addict or just a scumbag and the like? Does it really matter? He is a human who has problems. Can anyone relate to that? I certainly can.
From personal experience I can relate to exactly what Tiger did, and I had a variety of selfish ways to help me escape reality, give me immediate pleasure and make me feel good. Damn those around me, what they didn’t know didn’t hurt them (my sick mind told me).
Only I know what I was addicted to and what things I did just for selfish pleasure and to escape the boredom of real life. The only person who should worry about whether Mr. Woods is an addict or not is Tiger himself. It is obvious he has some living problems and I’m glad to see he is getting group and individual help.
I love to learn and be reminded of things, and this has happened in some of the things Tiger has revealed. There is a lesson for all of us.
Of great importance, Tiger got away from his spiritual centre and his spiritual belief system. He got away from meditation, which for me would be a cessation of listening to my higher power.
He began living the life of a double agent. The life we saw in public, the life his wife and those close to him were allowed to see, and the life the enablers in his life saw and abetted. Those in that part of his life knew who he was and what his marital status and father status was. For whatever their reasons, they chose to be a part of this life and most know fame, power and money do attract a certain group of people.
Trouble being a secret agent with multiple lives, secret agents have to keep big secrets and if it means lying about different things to people who are a part of your various lives. Tiger must be a bright guy to get away with it for as long as he did. Secrets and dishonesty destroy a human, which is a fact!
I know what I had to go through to change my stripes. Those who know me and love me, as well as the guy I see in the mirror, know I have changed my stripes. It did not happen quickly nor did it happen easily. It happened with a lot of hard work and help from others (some of them paid professionals and a treatment facility) and a decade and a half later remains work in progress. It took what I now refer to as a “Co-Creative Process of Life Recovery”. Change is hard, but change I did.
I am not Tiger or anyone who is all that special. If someone hits a point in their lives and wants to make a change just to please themselves (not others and not for money), it can be done. But like life itself, it is hard and requires action and self-honesty in the most rigorous manner.
Let’s learn from what Tiger has gone through and relate to what he told us happened. Let’s hear what the voice of “father Earl” is asking in the new Nike commercial. Let’s leave the guy alone and give him a chance over a long period of time to make change. Let’s observe, be positive and leave the jokes and rumours alone. Let’s hope for his children and family, those who love him, that he is successful in making positive change and let’s help in any way we can. Let’s not put people on a personal moral pedestal because they are as human as us, and we set ourselves up if they fall and we worship them. Let’s rejoice in the fact that if we live balanced lives, Tigers can change their stripes! (www.hopeserenity.ca; www.coached-to-success.com)
Well folks, haven’t we had our fill of it-the ongoing saga of Tiger Woods. How many really care but the media bombards us and the cutting jokes keep coming. Stop already, actions speak louder than words.
I am a golf nut and admire how Tiger Woods plays golf. I’ve never much cared how he lived or what he endorsed. I’ve felt for him because he is knocked for all the media attention he gets, when he plays, television treats him like he’s the only one in the event. More than ever, knowing what we now know about his life off the golf course (more than I ever needed to know), I believe all that attention Tiger gets is not what he wanted….. A majority of the public at large wanted, no demanded it, as shown by TV ratings and the people who buy the gossip rags and create the jokes. Why knock Tiger?
It is scary. I have never been world famous, except maybe in my own mind, but have done some reasonably high profile things in my life and with humility; I know I did them reasonably well. Well enough to keep me at the “job” top of my little world for an extended period of time. It makes it easy to relate to Tiger.
I am a member of an “Addictions Professional Group”, and am amazed by the amount of group chat that has gone on about Tiger. Is he an addict or just a scumbag and the like? Does it really matter? He is a human who has problems. Can anyone relate to that? I certainly can.
From personal experience I can relate to exactly what Tiger did, and I had a variety of selfish ways to help me escape reality, give me immediate pleasure and make me feel good. Damn those around me, what they didn’t know didn’t hurt them (my sick mind told me).
Only I know what I was addicted to and what things I did just for selfish pleasure and to escape the boredom of real life. The only person who should worry about whether Mr. Woods is an addict or not is Tiger himself. It is obvious he has some living problems and I’m glad to see he is getting group and individual help.
I love to learn and be reminded of things, and this has happened in some of the things Tiger has revealed. There is a lesson for all of us.
Of great importance, Tiger got away from his spiritual centre and his spiritual belief system. He got away from meditation, which for me would be a cessation of listening to my higher power.
He began living the life of a double agent. The life we saw in public, the life his wife and those close to him were allowed to see, and the life the enablers in his life saw and abetted. Those in that part of his life knew who he was and what his marital status and father status was. For whatever their reasons, they chose to be a part of this life and most know fame, power and money do attract a certain group of people.
Trouble being a secret agent with multiple lives, secret agents have to keep big secrets and if it means lying about different things to people who are a part of your various lives. Tiger must be a bright guy to get away with it for as long as he did. Secrets and dishonesty destroy a human, which is a fact!
I know what I had to go through to change my stripes. Those who know me and love me, as well as the guy I see in the mirror, know I have changed my stripes. It did not happen quickly nor did it happen easily. It happened with a lot of hard work and help from others (some of them paid professionals and a treatment facility) and a decade and a half later remains work in progress. It took what I now refer to as a “Co-Creative Process of Life Recovery”. Change is hard, but change I did.
I am not Tiger or anyone who is all that special. If someone hits a point in their lives and wants to make a change just to please themselves (not others and not for money), it can be done. But like life itself, it is hard and requires action and self-honesty in the most rigorous manner.
Let’s learn from what Tiger has gone through and relate to what he told us happened. Let’s hear what the voice of “father Earl” is asking in the new Nike commercial. Let’s leave the guy alone and give him a chance over a long period of time to make change. Let’s observe, be positive and leave the jokes and rumours alone. Let’s hope for his children and family, those who love him, that he is successful in making positive change and let’s help in any way we can. Let’s not put people on a personal moral pedestal because they are as human as us, and we set ourselves up if they fall and we worship them. Let’s rejoice in the fact that if we live balanced lives, Tigers can change their stripes! (www.hopeserenity.ca; www.coached-to-success.com)
Thursday, April 8, 2010
ON MY MIND (And lucky to have one)
ON MY MIND (And lucky to have one)
ON MY MIND
Ever get a day when things are going on in your head and you just want to get them outside of you? For me, today is one of those days.
I hate negativity and destructive criticism. I can remember the days when I was probably guilty on a regular basis of these attributes. I remember the day when the thought came into my head that if you were to look at the world through an anis, all you would see was excrement (I don’t think those were quite the words, but today I’m more genteel)! While being along way from perfect today, I think others see me, and more importantly inside of me I feel, positive and willing to make an action orientated attempt to improve things for the better.
A process called life recovery and the discovery (no lets call it a renewed awareness) of a power far greater than me that has always dwelt within has changed my attitude towards life. I am humbled by the change and grateful.
I honestly spend as much effort as I can in doing the next right thing and am thrilled to be making progress always mindful perfection isn’t necessary.
I am a member of a 12 step group and do my thing there as best I can and in keeping with the group’s traditions. I do community volunteer work trying to use the business experiences I’ve had, particularly utilising success I’ve been a part of, to simply improve things for the “common good” of those I serve. I coach people as a “vocation” and as a passion, and have been consulting independently for 20 years and have paid the bills and raised a family. So this life recovery thing has been good for me and funny, it has been good for many I have worked with. It is nice to have some things to feel grateful about and even better when your passion and experience can be tied in to your vocation.
Today I am pissed, and it is my feeling and genuine.
You work hard at things and do the best you can. You do it for the right reasons and lately, it seems, all you get is negative blowback….well that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But more negativity than I can handle today.
It would appear that too many people have too much time on their hands, and make a decision to put it to negative use. So if you are how you act, and you act like anis, what will your view of things be like!
This blogging journaling thing is one of the tools I was taught to use to make sure my insides and outside matched in a good way. Some will relate to this ramble, some won’t. I feel better already. I do put my web site in my blogs for a reason- there are some people who get positive help from some of the things I write, and get in touch; so no apologies. Let’s see if we can focus a bit more on the positives today, and be a little less judgemental of others! (www.hopeserenity.ca)
ON MY MIND
Ever get a day when things are going on in your head and you just want to get them outside of you? For me, today is one of those days.
I hate negativity and destructive criticism. I can remember the days when I was probably guilty on a regular basis of these attributes. I remember the day when the thought came into my head that if you were to look at the world through an anis, all you would see was excrement (I don’t think those were quite the words, but today I’m more genteel)! While being along way from perfect today, I think others see me, and more importantly inside of me I feel, positive and willing to make an action orientated attempt to improve things for the better.
A process called life recovery and the discovery (no lets call it a renewed awareness) of a power far greater than me that has always dwelt within has changed my attitude towards life. I am humbled by the change and grateful.
I honestly spend as much effort as I can in doing the next right thing and am thrilled to be making progress always mindful perfection isn’t necessary.
I am a member of a 12 step group and do my thing there as best I can and in keeping with the group’s traditions. I do community volunteer work trying to use the business experiences I’ve had, particularly utilising success I’ve been a part of, to simply improve things for the “common good” of those I serve. I coach people as a “vocation” and as a passion, and have been consulting independently for 20 years and have paid the bills and raised a family. So this life recovery thing has been good for me and funny, it has been good for many I have worked with. It is nice to have some things to feel grateful about and even better when your passion and experience can be tied in to your vocation.
Today I am pissed, and it is my feeling and genuine.
You work hard at things and do the best you can. You do it for the right reasons and lately, it seems, all you get is negative blowback….well that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But more negativity than I can handle today.
It would appear that too many people have too much time on their hands, and make a decision to put it to negative use. So if you are how you act, and you act like anis, what will your view of things be like!
This blogging journaling thing is one of the tools I was taught to use to make sure my insides and outside matched in a good way. Some will relate to this ramble, some won’t. I feel better already. I do put my web site in my blogs for a reason- there are some people who get positive help from some of the things I write, and get in touch; so no apologies. Let’s see if we can focus a bit more on the positives today, and be a little less judgemental of others! (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Monday, April 5, 2010
CRAB BUCKET SYNDROME
CRAB BUCKET SYNDROME
Crab Bucket Syndrome
What a fabulous day yesterday with my grand kids. With no other adults around, and with the range of things that we did, I loved seeing the day through the eyes of children; and being “silly” at times also. I’m so grateful that the journey I’m on allowed me to have a day like that.
A couple of weeks ago, I shared with a friend something someone had shared with me about crab buckets. Crab buckets are not an item I give a lot of thought to normally, but did when I heard the term, and once again did when my friend reminded me.
I was told that when crabs are put into a bucket (bait for fishing I assume); they will climb over each other in an attempt to regain freedom. As a crab approaches the top of the bucket and the achievement of its goal, its peers will drag it back into the mass.
I think of this as the crab bucket syndrome.
I know their have been times in my life where I have been jealous of another’s success, and have, in my own fashion, done something to pull them back with the rest of us mere mortals.
On the flip side, I’ve certainly felt the crab bucket syndrome as I’ve climbed out of my own bucket, and witnessed it in varying degrees thousands of times.
Why do people sabotage the success of others? Could it be a self-esteem issue within them?
The crab in the case above has a goal; to climb out of the mass and regain freedom. In the position the crab is in, it is a very immediate and lofty goal. If the crabs worked together, one or more of their fellows would achieve freedom, and all would share in the success.
Unfortunately, people seem to behave in the same manner on a more frequent basis than we would like to see.
On a daily basis I ask for help to reach my own goals, and love to help be a part of others success.
The work done over the time of the journey has given improvement in this area; likely not perfection, but man it feels good to be part of success, even if by association.
On a daily basis, may we be free of the “Crab Bucket Syndrome”. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Crab Bucket Syndrome
What a fabulous day yesterday with my grand kids. With no other adults around, and with the range of things that we did, I loved seeing the day through the eyes of children; and being “silly” at times also. I’m so grateful that the journey I’m on allowed me to have a day like that.
A couple of weeks ago, I shared with a friend something someone had shared with me about crab buckets. Crab buckets are not an item I give a lot of thought to normally, but did when I heard the term, and once again did when my friend reminded me.
I was told that when crabs are put into a bucket (bait for fishing I assume); they will climb over each other in an attempt to regain freedom. As a crab approaches the top of the bucket and the achievement of its goal, its peers will drag it back into the mass.
I think of this as the crab bucket syndrome.
I know their have been times in my life where I have been jealous of another’s success, and have, in my own fashion, done something to pull them back with the rest of us mere mortals.
On the flip side, I’ve certainly felt the crab bucket syndrome as I’ve climbed out of my own bucket, and witnessed it in varying degrees thousands of times.
Why do people sabotage the success of others? Could it be a self-esteem issue within them?
The crab in the case above has a goal; to climb out of the mass and regain freedom. In the position the crab is in, it is a very immediate and lofty goal. If the crabs worked together, one or more of their fellows would achieve freedom, and all would share in the success.
Unfortunately, people seem to behave in the same manner on a more frequent basis than we would like to see.
On a daily basis I ask for help to reach my own goals, and love to help be a part of others success.
The work done over the time of the journey has given improvement in this area; likely not perfection, but man it feels good to be part of success, even if by association.
On a daily basis, may we be free of the “Crab Bucket Syndrome”. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
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